Diary of Sumit Aryahttp://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/Diary of Sumit Aryaen-usNew Year....New Year is a time to unfold new horizons and dreams, make resolutions, rejoice and face new challenges... Wishing you a truly fulfilling 2008 !!

]]>Wed, 02 Jan 2008 14:36:01 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/01/02/New-Year-.htmlNew YearNew Year is a time to unfold new horizons and dreams, make resolutions, rejoice and face new challenges... Wishing you a truly fulfilling 2008 !!

]]>Wed, 02 Jan 2008 14:14:57 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/01/02/New-Year.htmlThat one Minute....

Once a smart Sales Executive and His Manager were traveling towards Ooty in a train.

Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.

With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.

Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is?

He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine;

she immediately slapped that guy."

Manager thought that,

"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl!

But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me,

but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, do u know what our clever Sales Executive thought?

"This one minute in my life is wonderful, It hardly comes...because,

at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my Boss."

]]>Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:39:06 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/10/25/That-one.htmlThat One Minute.....

Once a smart Sales Executive and His Manager were traveling towards Ooty in a train.

Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.

With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.

Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is?

He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine;

she immediately slapped that guy."

Manager thought that,

"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl!

But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me,

but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, do u know what our clever Sales Executive thought?

"This one minute in my life is wonderful, It hardly comes...because,

at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my Boss."

]]>Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:36:01 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/10/25/That-One.htmlHuman Resource Deptt..

HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES

Dear STAFF ,

Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm. __________________________________________________________________________________________

TRANSPORTATION:

It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.

c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

ANNUAL LEAVE :

Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wow! said 1 employee).

- They are called SUNDAYs.

LUNCH BREAK :

a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

SICK DAYS :

We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.

- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

TOILET USE :

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.

a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.

b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.

c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.

SURGERY :

As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.

- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.

- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

INTERNET USAGE :

All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary.

Important Note:

Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.

Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Best regards,

HRD

]]>Fri, 20 Apr 2007 17:19:25 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/04/20/Human-Resource.htmlIts back again.. today !Its back !!!!

]]>Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:34:43 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/04/12/Its-back-again-today.htmlyour somments on this...]]>Thu, 22 Mar 2007 14:08:28 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/03/22/your-somments-on.htmlStrange Human Facts !!

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.

The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping.

The average women consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.

On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.

Only 7% of the population are lefties.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

A human brain weighs about 3lbs.

1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.

You blink over 10,000,000 times a year.

When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ... Even your heart.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza a day.

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Koala and humans are the only animals with unique fingerprints.

The scent of apples and/or bananas can help you lose weight.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

Children grow faster in the spring.

On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his or her lifetime A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories.

]]>Tue, 20 Mar 2007 10:38:22 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/03/20/Strange-Human-Facts.htmlShort Love Story... ¢¥¢¾` ¢¥¢¾`

SHORT LOVE STORY:

¢¥¢¾`

¢¥¢¾` There was a Blind Gurl

¢¥¢¾` WhO Hated Herself

¢¥¢¾` cOz Of being Blind.

¢¥¢¾` She Hated every1

¢¥¢¾` Except her Boy friend..

¢¥¢¾` 1 day de Gurl said

¢¥¢¾` that if She can

¢¥¢¾` Only c the wOrld

¢¥¢¾` she will marry her bOyfriend,

¢¥¢¾` One day sOme1

¢¥¢¾` dOnated eyes tO her

¢¥¢¾` & then she saw Every thing

¢¥¢¾`including her bOyfriend ,

¢¥¢¾` her bOyfriend ask her,

¢¥¢¾` "nOw that u can c ,

¢¥¢¾` will u Marry Me?",

¢¥¢¾` the girl was shOcked when

¢¥¢¾` she saw her bOyfriend

¢¥¢¾` is alsO Blind,

¢¥¢¾` & she refused tO Marry him.

¢¥¢¾` Her bOyfriend walk away

¢¥¢¾` with Tears & said,

¢¥¢¾` " just take care Of

¢¥¢¾` my eyes dear.

¢¥¢¾` Ok..

]]>Mon, 05 Feb 2007 10:33:14 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/02/05/Short-Love-Story-.htmlWajah ki Talash Kar..]]>Thu, 25 Jan 2007 16:17:45 +0530http://sumitarya.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/01/25/Wajah-ki-Talash.html